Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
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I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
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I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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