It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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