Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
