He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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