I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
