i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
