Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
