She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
