Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
