More tranny stories later!
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
