that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
