East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
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