I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
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