I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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