were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
