i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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