I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
