Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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