What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
