that's an acceptable place to lick
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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