I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
