alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
