Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
NoShamevember. You game?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
