It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Quick, to the slutcave!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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