Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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