She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Dicks are not precious.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
