Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
So. Much. Porn.
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