i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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