we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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