HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
