You work out of a Hotel?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
