I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Also, beer. Big fan.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
