So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Damn victory sex feels great
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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