You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
