i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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