come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
