what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
