dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Dicks are not precious.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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