I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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