Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We don't watch enough power rangers
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
