So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
