i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
