ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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