I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
