I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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