Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
