why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
