We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
