Do you still have your period?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I won't apologize to a one balled man
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
