is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
