last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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