Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
