don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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