One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
