So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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