dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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