Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
