I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
