all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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