apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
