On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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