Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
