the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
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